Howdy from another Insurance Hoe!

Insurance_ho · medicine forum beginner Joined: 06 Jul 2005 Posts: 1

Howdy!

I'm REALLY pleased to meet you. I'm jes' so glad I ain't the only
Insurance Hoe here. It can get sure lonesome sometime in this job.

I jes' thought I'd stop by and tell y'all my story.

Far back as I can recall, I been a hoe. My ol' Mama , a-workin' in the
cotton fields (after abolition we had to do all that dam work
oursself), used to say:

"Virgil, go fetch me a hoe!"

And my brother would go git me.

My mama says I was born to be a hoe, but myself I think it happen on
account of my disability. You see I suffer from that red-green
color-blineness.

Now you may feel, whats so disabilitting 'bout red-green
colorblineness?

Well, when I was young, real young, I couldnt read too good, and one
day I went to town and stood at the corner o' Main St and I couldnt
tell ifn it was a red light or a green light, an' I was scared I might
git hit by a car or a horse or sumthin'. So I just set on that corner
waitin' for some kind gen'leman to come by. So this kind gen'leman did
come by and I did put my han' in his han' and when I regain conshusness
I was married to Mr. Robert E. Lee McWitrash, the biggest pimp this
side the Mississippi River.

Well, I loved, honored and obeyed Bobby, cos that's what yore suppose
to do when yore a wife. And even though he made me hoe for him, and
broke ever bone in my body, I STILL loved, honored and obeyed him. And
deep down I know he loved me too.

But one day, after 60 years o lovin, honorin' and obeyin' him, Bobby
say to me:

"Jolene, you gettin' too ol' to bring in the customers. Yore eyes is
a-baggin', yore *ss is a-saggin', and dont nobody want a 77 year ol'
hoe. Now git!"

So what do you think about that? Sixty years o lovin and honorin and
obeyin and all he got to say is : "Git".

So there I was, a shufflin' down the street, with my cane (it's been
real handy, both fer my work and for walkin' home afterwards) and my
heart is almost a-breakin'. And I think 'bout throwin' myself in the
Mississippi River but it dont come roun these parts so I caint.

An' jes' when I'm a'thinkin 'bout stickin' my head in that ol' pipe
where they pump the methane gas off the pigs' behines, an' goin' to
meet my dear Lord, my dear Lord **come to me instead**.

Yes, it was Him. I could tell soon as I saw Him, cos he appeared in a
ragin' pillar of fire with the sign of the cross above his head. An' he
said:

"My Name is God. My child, follow me. I will guide you to a new way."

An' I said," Father forgive me, but how much do it pay?"

I guess ol' habits die hard.

And He replied, "I am offering you a new life as a hoe."

Well, when I heard this, I have to say I was plumb disappointed. You
see I seen lots o things in my 60 years as a hoe, I seen pimps who
think they are Almighty God, but I aint NEVER met no almighty god who
a-thinkin to be a pimp. So I said:

"Lord, that's downright sinful. Dont you never read the Bible?"

But he said, "My child, you don't understand. This is different. You
will be a Insurance Hoe, working for the Steere camp."

Well, I didnt really know what a Insurance Hoe was, and I didn't zackly
relish the notion of a-workin' with cattle ( there is some things even
a Hoe will not do), but seein' as I didnt have much prospecks anyways,
seein' that Bobby dont want me no more, and nobody want a 77 year old
Hoe cepn maybe some o them desprate guys from the CDC down in Atlanta
(the reg'lar hoes wont touch them cos of all the germs), I said yes,
ok, I do believe I will.

Some time later, I foun' out he wasnt God at all. He was sayin his name
was Gots, not God. He ran a fancy joint up in Pennsylvaney with some
guy called Barrett. They called it the Quack-quack-watch, or some such.
But y'see I had thought he said his name was God cos my hearin aint
what it use to be. Turn out the pillar of flame and the crucifix was
jes my ol Bobby and his buddies from the Klan doin one o them
cross-burnins' agin.

But it was too late, cos me and Mister Gots, we was already on a plane
up to Pennsylvaney.

To be continued in my next mail

Love Jolene, Insurance Ho from 'Bamaland.

brent · medicine forum Guru Joined: 29 Apr 2005 Posts: 1543

I read about that fancy joint in Pennsylvaney !

lmao good stuff.

Chuck · medicine forum Guru Joined: 28 Apr 2005 Posts: 1132

Another sock puppet on the long list.

Frank de Groot · medicine forum Guru Joined: 29 Apr 2005 Posts: 778

"Insurance_ho" <mr_and_mrs_mcwitrash@yahoo.com> wrote in message

U R A jeeniuz!

Guest

Still another lisa personality? Just as sicko as all the ones before
it.

Insurance_ho wrote:

CaliforniaLyme · medicine forum Guru Joined: 28 Apr 2005 Posts: 2066

Back Satan*)!

kathleen · medicine forum Guru Joined: 24 Mar 2005 Posts: 2619

Ditto

Google